GTA Online’s Cayo Perico Heist update landed a few days ago, and players have been sinking their teeth into what Rockstar claims is the game’s “biggest update ever.“ It whisks you to the private party island of Cayo Perico, owned by drug lord El Rubio, and longtime GTA Online antagonists the Madrazo clan are back too, this time in the form of Martin’s son, Miguel.
The main objective—obtain some incriminating documents that could land the Madrazo cartel in prison. Plus whatever other goodies you can get your hands on, of course. It sounds like a grand old time (as well as a profitable one), is playable solo, and the community was looking forward to the addition of a new area.
Players are already finding creative ways to utilise the new content available, as well as running into some amusing yet highly frustrating obstacles. Here’s some of what the GTA crowd are loving about the new update, and some of what it isn’t.
Friendship ended with Lester, Pavel is my best friend now
Move over Lester, there’s a new golden boy of Los Santos. Pavel has been capturing the hearts of Los Santos residents everywhere, with his blunt Soviet attitude and whimsical personality. As the helmsman of your new submarine heist HQ, Pavel is there pretty much every step of the way.
He takes over the role Lester plays in the other heists and has proven to be a real breath of fresh air. His reference to the persistently annoying Oppressor Mk II hasn’t gone unnoticed, with players taking delight in his comments about shooting the weaponised motorbike down being “great sport here in America.”
But truly, one of the most endearing parts of Pavel’s personality is the way he enthusiastically refers to you as Kapitan every time you’re in the submarine. It certainly makes a nice change from being called ‘you’, ‘this one’ or even worse, ‘geezer’ (cheers, English Dave.) Numerous players have been claiming Pavel is “the best character in GTA” and “the best part of the whole update”. Bold claims, but possibly deserved.
Metal Gear Turgid
It’s not all sunshine and rainbows, though. Stealth has never been Rockstar’s strong suit in GTA, and the Cayo Perico update is no different. The heist requires a ton of initial recon, involving scoping out the island whilst trying to avoid the watchful gaze of El Rubio’s guards.
It’s an incredibly frustrating segment of the heist, and you’ll find yourself being caught a ridiculous number of times throughout. It’s a wonder why a game that has become so focused around chaotic destruction still insists on plonking in mediocre stealth segments that only seem to irritate people. I couldn’t find one person with a good word to say about them. As one Redditor bluntly observed: ‘it’s not Hitman’.
Our own Joe Donnelly was equally underwhelmed in his impressions, saying that Cayo Perico relies on its most frustrating feature. Enough with the stealth, Rockstar.
Surprisingly though, the stealth isn’t even the most frustrating part of navigating Cayo Perico—it’s the bushes.
Who would’ve thought that the toughest enemy in Cayo Perico would be nature? While the lampposts dotted around Los Santos can be knocked down by merely sneezing near them, the bushes in Cayo Perico are certifiable monsters. With gigantic hitboxes and branches of steel, attempting to drive your vehicle around some of the more densely wooded areas is an absolute nightmare. They’ve been compared to vibranium by some players, and even then that seems like an understatement.
Rockstar: nerf bush pls.
Rockstar is no stranger to collaborating with a variety of musicians and producers, with numerous DJs and artists getting small appearances and storylines in GTA Online. Despite that, it was surprising to see just how casually they threw in a very brief cameo from hip hop legend Dr. Dre. Appearing along with artist DJ Pooh and record exec Jimmy Iovine, Dre disappears as quickly as he’s revealed.
Still, it hasn’t stopped fans of Dre being “excited as hell” about his appearance. It’s also stirred up some speculation as to whether he’ll be popping up again in the future, perhaps for a small side mission or as part of a longer, drip-fed storyline. Given Rockstar’s past form, it wouldn’t be a surprise if these predictions came to fruition.
Old habits die hard (but this guy doesn’t)
Of course, a new content drop wouldn’t be complete without finding new and inventive ways to take out the Diamond Casino & Resort’s criminally underpaid valet. With the new Kosatka submarine being decked out with some beefy missiles, it was only natural one would eventually find its way to the seemingly immortal casino assistant. Poor Felipe. Respawn as many times as he will, the guy just can’t catch a break.